★ Dear Millennials, Let's Be Friends. Sincerely, the Stock Market

"I do apologize for the scare I gave you in 2008 and the subsequent recession. I understand some of your loved ones may have been hurt by my failings (and fallings). It gave me no pleasure to see so many retirement accounts, index funds, mutual funds and other investments take a tumble. It terrified me to watch my Dow Jones peak at 14,164 in 2007, and then fall to a mere 7,882 a year later... I empathize with you that I may seem untrustworthy. But, despite all this, let’s be friends. Why? Because without me your money doesn’t stand a chance."

Read the entire (witty) article here: USNews.com

------- [Photo cred: Wagner T. Cassimiro "Aranha"]